Okay, so, yes, it has been a while since I came around to give you my expert thoughts on the unfolding MLS offseason. My big “grading the SuperDraft” post never got published because Brian said it was unoriginal even though I gave every team a B- and the exact same writeup text. Then I was going to travel around bringing you harsh words of truth from inside some of the training camps, but you kind of need a car to move around in these United States. Other than that, what was I supposed to write about? The AC Milan league season?
Mainly I’ve just been plowing through the Ives archives every day (holla, mafiosi) and trying to keep up with the supporter message boards. That’s how I am able to bring you the caramel-covered scoop (okay, even if I wasn’t the first person to notice) that the Columbus “ultras” are stirring up a war with Seattle Sounders fans, setting all sorts of insanity in motion. Check it out (this is an email sent to the Crew blog “Crewture,” which is actually a name someone thought up for a blog):
I and a few friends of mine are of the opinion that Seattle Sounders FC sucks for a lot of reasons.
Not so much the Sigi thing, but the fact that you have these weak supporters out there in Seattle who couldn’t support their club in USL, but then you get a comedian, a Microsoft trillionaire and a producer together to buy them a club and now they are going to fill half an NFL stadium with latte sipping soccer moms to watch an underwear model in a neon kit run around on plastic grass to the tune of Gary Glitter played by a f’in marching band.
Seattle has no soul and it’s not what ultras culture in North America should be about . . . in our opinion.
Right on, dude. Powerful rebuttal to the idea that North American ultras culture should be about having no soul. They’ll think twice before they promulgate that reasoning a second time. I also love how the hostility has nothing to do with the fact that the Crew’s title-winning head coach left Columbus for Seattle at the end of the season, and everything to do with the music of Gary Glitter. Obvious.
Anyway, this guy has designed a scarf which is intended to express the unflinching enmity and lack of quarter which the THIS IS HOW WE DO THINGS IN COLUMBUS set intends to show toward the latte-sipping soccer moms of the Puget Sound region. Watch out, soccer moms. I mean, this is a fan base that is prepared to go toe-to-toe with a group of hardened West Ham traveling supporters, as long as they have them outnumbered 100-1 in their own stadium concourse. They will have no trouble unloading steel beams of pain on mothers who bring their young children to a soccer game.
“ACES” stands for “any club except Seattle.” This then prompts a thoughtful reply from the dude who wrote the Crewture post, who goes by the name “Crewfighter,” because at this level of rawness it’s all about compound words:
not totally feeling the “Any club except Seattle.” As I hate about every club except the Crew; especially DC, Chicago, and TFC…. Seattle sucks just about as much as all other MLS clubs, so mise well spread the contempt.
Stay adamant.
[BRIAN IS MAKING ME NOTE THIS: Crewfighter claims in the comments section below that the guy who designed the scarves is a Timbers fan. So this is all probably meaningless. Whatever.]
Read More: Columbus Crew, MLS, Seattle Sounders
by Vandal-prone · February 28, 2009
Please don’t lump all Columbus fans in with Crewfighter. Quite a few of us really don’t care too much about Seattle (I do hear it is a wonderful city). Why am I going to care about a “rival” on the west coast.
I am just a little ashamed that this made it to “Run of Play”. MLS Rumors is one thing, but if people start reading about it in respectable sites such as this, who knows what it will do to our reputation.
Patrick — Don’t worry, nothing Vandal-prone writes is respectable.
EDIT: That is, we realize most Crew fans are not frustrated liquor store clerks looking to go all Fight Club on a scared family of four from Kansas City, and we sympathize with the rest of you for having to put up with the few who are.
“FVCK SEATTLE”: The Roman U. Obviously a classy bunch of hoolie-flick fans. (Or maybe they’re just very polite.)
Also: “mise well spread the contempt”. I’ve never seen “mise well” before. Not only a scary lot, but innovative with it.
Lol, I don’t know why this article is such a big deal? If Vandal or MLS Rumors could read they would understand that a Crew fan didn’t make the scarfs. Mason is a Portland Timbers fan. I just posted the thing because of a lack of news and if anyone wanted a free scarf.
I have little to none interest in Seattle. I just copied and pasted an email I received from some random dude offering scarfs. The connection being maybe a few people are interested in a Anti-Seattle scarf to keep warm and because some people I know get all red at the mention of Sigi leaving the Crew. Not a big deal. Kind of funny that something that takes a minute to copy and paste garners that much interest and 30 comments while an article I spend four hours researching and writing gets like 2 comments.
Btw, thanks Patrick, way to throw me under the bus buddy. Not sure why your always so concerned about what other fans think? But, to each their own.
I am interested in ordering a scarf for non-soccer related reasons. I have a friend from Mercer Island who informed me that “Seattle’s Best” is actually not as good as Starbucks.
I feel betrayed by the misleading corporate logo and plan on protesting. How much are the scarfs?
Crewfighter — I’m just throwing this out there. But maybe the story took off to the extent that it has because it plays into some, um, pre-existing stereotypes about Crew fans.
Anyway, if you wanted people to realize that the guy who made the scarves was a Timbers fan, maybe you should have mentioned that in your post? That information doesn’t show up until around halfway down the comments section, where it’s posted by a commenter who gives no indication of how he knows it. It seems like everyone who read your post universally came away with the idea that it was a Columbus thing, and especially given the reference to Sigi at the start of the email, you can see where the error came from.
Anyway, I’ll tell Vandal-prone to note it in the post.
Crewfighter, apologies for the lack of reading comprehension. Additionally, I did not mean to throw you under the bus. Sometimes, your bravado and fever can be misinterpreted by home and away fans.
Seattle soccer mom says:
Don’t insult me or I’ll throw a latte in your eye.
With mint syrup.
But remove the twizzle stick first. You might hurt someone …
Nice one Laurie
There’s just a pocket of crew fans that continues to make idiots of themselves…
It’s so cute listening to the 7 people who go to the Crew games get so passionate about their team.
Seattle rocks!!!
Sounders FC forever!!!
Anyone can get a free ‘ACES’ scarf by taking a picture using that logo in some form of display. You could just photoshop something together, show it to the 5 guys spamming people about their hard on for Seattle and they’ll send you one, no charge.
I say if you need a shitty scarf from some meth’d out Timber’s hooli-flick supporter go get one without paying a dime. Though spending an ounce of energy focusing on Seattle only makes them the love-to-hate em team. Funny that the whole ‘ACES’ fiasco is pushed by a second rate USL team that can’t even afford to make it to the big leagues. Maybe if they had real supporters they wouldn’t be so obsessed with Seattle’s unrivaled success.
I must say, I find all this unbearably cute, like kittens rolling around in the grass.
I know. I’d like to add a dedicated page to the site where all the rudest MLS fans can just light into each other in the comments, while the rest of us watch, occasionally snapping photographs, like at the penguin house at the zoo.