See the full-sized version, which I'm not calling "HD" out of respect for other people's televisions, on our page at Vimeo.
See the full-sized version, which I'm not calling "HD" out of respect for other people's televisions, on our page at Vimeo.
Thought you might like a glimpse of what we've been plotting over the last few weeks. But remember: when you take a sneak peek into the vortex, the vortex takes a sneak peek into you.
Happy New Year!
Inter have just drawn Chelsea in the first Champions League knockout round, and Manchester United have drawn A.C. Milan. In case years of overexposure to the media haven't ruined your brain in such a way that the mere mention of these pairings caused this fact to come spinning out of the computer screen in giant letters of fire, this means that José Mourinho will be making his return to Stamford Bridge and David Beckham will be going back to Old Trafford.
So…nice quiet little story, eh? Casual mention near the bottom of the sports page. They'll probably just walk in through the front gate; I can't see anyone wanting to make a fuss. I only wonder what substantive issue people will find to talk about for the next two months. Personally, I plan to spend some time thinking about the tactical subtleties of the Olympiacos – Girondins Bordeaux match.
A few weeks ago I subtly hinted at a new project that was going to revolutionize the site, bring the planets into harmony, and redeem all the time we've wasted on cheap North Korea jokes. It's still a few weeks away, but I'm toiling away in the background getting all the parts in readiness. Sadly, this means the foreground is going to continue to be a bit sparse for a while, but don't worry. The mountains are getting closer, even if they don't seem to move. In the meantime, we're keeping in touch on Twitter, and will be here reliably when anything happens that demands to be addressed.
A few notes:
— Actual famous English soccer magazine When Saturday Comes has given us an award and called us "sharp, feisty and funny." This is exciting, even if, after the usual pattern of my experience, I'm now waiting anxiously for a magazine called When Sunday Reasserts Reality to call us "vain, babbling, and tedious."
— More Than Mind Games is a blog about sports history, sociology, and psychology. It's amazing. In the last few weeks there have been posts about referee corruption in Edwardian football, football results and war escapism in the late 1930s, agents in the early 20th century, and the 1908 Olympics. You should be reading this. More»
As Zach notes:
Interestingly, however, the NoKos are far from the most insular team at this World Cup, with at least four players based in other countries. (Including a player for Japanese club Kawasaki Frontale, which sounds like an extremely entertaining, possibly fatal sex maneuver.)
Four players! That's four more than England!
USA-England. Ghana-Germany. Argentina-Nigeria. Argentina-Greece. Brazil-Ivory Coast. Brazil-Portugal. Mexico-France. Landon Donovan v. David Beckham. Michael Essien v. Michael Ballack. Kaká v. Ronaldo v. Drogba. Poor North Korea getting so thoroughly destroyed in Group G that even its own state media will have a hard time finding a positive spin. More»
So the World Cup draw is tomorrow. Here's my prediction for these United States.
Group D
Spain; U.S.; Ivory Coast; unincorporated nation populated entirely by soccer-playing velociraptors whose diet includes polyester, synthetic materials used in Nike boot uppers, and human flesh.
Thoughts?
Because I read all the papers, I often come across news that the rest of you miss. Here are a few gems that your insane loyalty to the Buxton Advertiser might have caused you to overlook.
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Arsenal target Andre-Pierre Gignac sure does like his garlic mashed potatoes.
It's okay, Manchester United intern Will Forthwell is pretty sure he can keep improvising to avoid having to pronounce the word "Dzeko."
Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp finds that leaning against a wall shifts the weight pleasingly off his knees as he watches this tape of Watford goalkeeper Scott Loach.
Stowe sent me this "100 Greatest Quotes from The Wire" video on Twitter the other day, and I watched it, and I was like, "Oh my God, The Wire," because I haven't seen it in a few years and this sort of brought it all back. Then, for no obvious reason, this video started tugging at my brain after the Thierry Henry handball rocked the core of everything that had a core to rock yesterday. So I watched it again, and oh my God, The Wire, because about 87 of these quotes apply directly to the game and its aftermath.
This is it. I mean, this is the entire range of possibilities represented by that match, from "the gods will not save you" to "this one here is goin' up your narrow fuckin' Irish ass." The game is rigged. No shame in holding onto grief. It's a thin line between heaven and here. Maybe it helps if you imagine Sepp Blatter as Brother Mouzone at a couple of points, but I don't think I'm overselling this. Watch it.
I'm working around the clock on something that will change everything, alienate half of you, and blow the minds of the other half, so don't think I'm neglecting this place, even if actual blocks of text with my name attached have been in short supply lately. I'm here behind the scenes, listening to Annette Hanshaw records in a posture of revolutionary toil.
Thus, in lieu of the substantial essays on horse placentas and the hand of Thierry Henry that you might be expecting, I direct your attention to the following items of note:
- Lost in the France-Ireland-Henry-justice-cruelty-tabloids-dishonor snowball yesterday: We now know who's playing in the World Cup. Is it weird that when I saw Alaska on this map, my first thought was, "How did they get in?"
- Speaking of the aforementioned France-Ireland-Henry-disgrace-tragedy-chauvinism-handball concatenation: Fredorrarci's post almost manages to transform it into an event that can be put into perspective and talked about.
- Speaking of reasons to believe that the machinery of the universe is hopelessly fixed against you: Richard's series on the collapse of publishing and what it means for soccer journalism takes an old topic and manages to say a few new things about it.
- Speaking of Frank Lampard: Who Ate All the Pies is having a debate on who is the best Premier League midfielder of the past decade. Normally I'm not a fan of lists like this, but that's actually an interesting question. Interesting sub-question: how many of these players would be in the top 20 in the equivalent list from Serie A or La Liga?
- Bonus update link on the France-Ireland-Henry-disillusion-conspiracy-agony cocktail. Barry Glendenning: "It's difficult to criticize the French for the manner in which they're handling this, if you'll pardon the expression."