The Proud Legacy of MLS Goes Down in a Swirl of Over-the-Counter Nutritional Supplements

Let’s get this out of the way.

1) The greatest disgrace of all is the lack of Red Bull jokes in the early coverage of this over-the-counter-drug-fueled horror dream. Seriously, not one “…were they caught drinking Red Bull?” Ives? Offside? Anybody?

2) Bloggers, a pact. Let us have Red Bull jokes. Let them flow like cheap, unadulterated vodka mixers through the officially designated party suites of freshman dorms nationwide.

Let them keep our nation’s law students awake, long past the hour when even the loneliest Deep Space Nine fan has crawled off to bed.

Let them prompt someone’s aunt to ask for an explanation.