“Former German international [Franz] Beckenbauer is not a Uefa executive committee member but is a European Fifa executive member who sits in on the meetings as a non-voting observer.” With these words, BBC Sport said approximately everything there is to say about the UEFA executive committee’s decision, revealed today by football’s favorite non-voting former German international, to expand the European Championship to 24 teams starting in 2016. It’s the sort of creeping, fungal, Byzantine decision that can only be talked about obliquely, in the language of committee titles. My personal opinion is: executive chairperson, adjunct task force, pending recess, margin, liaison, dossier. That’s the best I can do. Put it in more propositionally direct language, and it looks like mrrrmf mrshk plrg grnk fllv.
Anyway, at least we have a new nickname for Franz Beckenbauer. Der Kaiser was so single-breath.
Read More: Franz Beckenbauer, UEFA
by Brian Phillips · September 25, 2008
Beckenbauer’s role in this clearly foreshadows the belief in some quarters of Nyon that a combination of the financial crisis and out of control nationalism is about to plunge Europe into a pre-Metternichian age of principalities, in which 24 finalists will represent less than a quarter of the eligible countries.
I’m sure that Franzl has his eye on the Kingdom of Bavaria job, whereas I am actually quite looking forward to the Lombardy-Piedmont derby.
I can’t help but think sometimes that ‘The Castle’ was written about football administrators, locked together in a labyrinthine office complex making decisions that bear little or no relation to the good of the game of football.
Where were these people during Euro 2008? Or ANY of the the ten hundred trillion UEFA Cup fixtures last year?
Richard — That’s brilliant. I think “The Metamorphosis” might be about Platini himself.
ursus — Does this mean Atletico Bilbao will finally be allowed to compete as a national team, or will it break apart into Biscayan and Navarrese micro-factions? Frankly, I’m happy either way.
What amazes me is how this initiative got to the table in the first place given that it was sponsored by the SFA and the FAI, whose previous joint venture was a tragicomic romp of a bid to host Euro 2008 (FEATURING: three stadia in one city! (let’s hope UEFA don’t notice!); a stadium owned by an organisation which constitutionally forbids the playing of soccer there!; and the clincher: a stadium which will never exist!). You’d think some kind of non-cash register bells would have gone off before they discussed this.
I’m prepared to state confidently that the FAI and SFA were willing fronts for someone else’s plan rather than the real motive force behind the proposal. My confidence is based on the fact that the proposal was successfully photocopied and distributed to the voting members of the committee and then unanimously approved.
On a side note, I wonder if it’s not best for Scotland and Ireland that they didn’t get to host Euro 2008. After this format change, Portugal’s useless-new-stadium-to-pints-of-Ronaldo’s-hair-gel ratio is hovering dangerously close to 1:1.
Confidence well placed, I’m sure. It’s just a bit embarrassing. Coming from one of the countries most likely to benefit from the change, I should feel happy; but when you realise that you’re a millionaire only because the currency has been chronically devalued, I imagine it takes some of the shine off it.
And as for the stadium issue: very true. The Irish government was very keen at the time to plonk a bloody great big white elephant in west Dublin, for which the Euros would have been the perfect excuse. Whether it would have actually been ready in time for 2008 is another story, mind you.
And here we go again.
Isn’t ‘canny’ a Scottish word?
It’s “cannae” (more or less), and yes it is. Scots for cannot.