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Lesser Transfer Gossip for December 3, 2009

Posted By Brian Phillips On December 3, 2009 @ 7:49 am In Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Because I read all the papers, I often come across news that the rest of you miss. Here are a few gems that your ill-advised loyalty to the Buxton Advertiser might have caused you to overlook.

  • Arsenal target Andre-Pierre Gignac sure does like his garlic mashed potatoes.
  • It’s okay, Manchester United intern Will Forthwell is pretty sure he can keep improvising to avoid having to pronounce the word “Dzeko.”
  • Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp finds that leaning against a wall shifts the weight pleasingly off his knees as he watches this tape of Watford goalkeeper Scott Loach.
  • Juventude’s Brazilian playmaker Zezinho, reportedly a target for Arsenal in January, sometimes looks at his hands and wonders how God made them exactly the same.
  • Meanwhile Leeds striker Jermaine Beckford is paging through a Wolverhampton phone book and yelling to a friend in the next room that they do have a bit of Thai.
  • Portsmouth striker and possible Celtic loan signing John Utaka is reportedly a big believer in the sleep masks they have on airplanes.
  • Powerful agent Rachid Tajmout tried on so many ties this morning that his wife was like, “this is ridiculous.”
  • Hungarian ace Zsolt Korcsmar, who is being trailed by Everton, noticed a caterpillar on the pitch a few weeks ago, but soon forgot all about it.
  • If he only had a time machine, thinks want-away Hibernian goalkeeper Yves Ma-Kalambay, he could cut an impressive figure in “times of honor.”
  • No one told Birmingham target Mamadou Niang that there are certain things he would be better off not putting in a wood-burning fireplace.
  • Ex-Germany boss J├╝rgen Klinsmann, who is reportedly in talks with Liverpool, thinks that the secret to thriving at this moment is not letting on that you know about the financial crisis.
  • Luca Toni is praying that the press never connect his desire to play for West Ham with his well-publicized “things that have been owned by people from Iceland” fetish.

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