His name is David. He always brushes his teeth before he goes anywhere. Yesterday, he didn’t have time. He called the radio to share his side of the story.
Via the Guardian:
He explained to the host DJ Spoony: “I was wanting to get to the game and I put it [the toothbrush] in my pocket and forgot to brush my teeth. I thought no one was looking. I always brush my teeth before I go anywhere. I thought no one was looking at me.”
DJ Spoony went on to ask him why he was wearing sunglasses after dark. David, it turns out, is a ladies’ man.
“I saw my ex-girlfriend at the game. The reason I was wearing sunglasses was to disguise my face because I like the girls, I like the women. I think I am a ladies man and I’m very good-looking.”
I’m not sure what to make of any of this. On the one hand, I can’t help but think that if David is just dry-brushing with a toothbrush he’s been carrying around in the pocket of his jeans for the last three hours, he’s probably confusing the bacteria more than anything. On the other hand, he was pretty good looking. Maybe he knows what he’s doing.
Read More: Going the Extra Mile
by Brian Phillips · November 9, 2009
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The sunglasses comment confuses me. He wore them as a disguise to guard against the…I suppose…unwanted advances of an ex…so that other Stamford Bridge ladies would chat him up at the sausage roll stand? I’m lost.
Yeah, there’s an apparent contradiction in his declaring that
a.) He likes the girls, he likes the women.
b.) He thinks he’s very good-looking.
c.) He was wearing the sunglasses to disguise his face.
Why would you disguise your face if your face was your major asset in your quest to get with the girls—you know, the women?
What I’m thinking is that he probably cheated on his ex-girlfriend as a result of being a good-looking ladies’ man, and then was driven to don the disguising sunglasses in the hope that she—hysterical and furious as a result of his betrayal—wouldn’t spot him at the game.
“I know,” he thought, “I’ll put on these giant fashion lenses and just disappear into the crowd. She’ll never know I’m here. After all, what could I possibly do to attract attention without meaning to? Nothing. There’s nothing! I’m completely safe!”
Ok, but why did this cat wait until the 83rd minute to start brushing? And how did he and his mates score such great seats? My guess is through Ashley Cole
I think the entire interview and call-in was staged by DJ Spoony and a friend. The pieces just simply do not add up. The real brusher remains at large, awaiting some sort of crest endorsement deal. Unless, of course, Crest already paid him….
he is just a no body who wants to get famous by doing something out of the ordinary by brushing his teeth when there was substitutions on, as he knew he would of been filmed. Everytime there was a sub made the brush would come out. He is just a wannabe. Pathetic.
Agree with elliot, just a publicity stunt and it worked!
If that’s true, he’s not pathetic, he’s a visionary.
Twilight Zone elliott with the lower case “e” – do you have any footage to back up said claim? If so, please share the link to said footage with me, the world, and the universe writ large. We deserve it.