The Toothbrushing Man, Unmasked

His name is David. He always brushes his teeth before he goes anywhere. Yesterday, he didn’t have time. He called the radio to share his side of the story.

Via the Guardian:

He explained to the host DJ Spoony: “I was wanting to get to the game and I put it [the toothbrush] in my pocket and forgot to brush my teeth. I thought no one was looking. I always brush my teeth before I go anywhere. I thought no one was looking at me.”

DJ Spoony went on to ask him why he was wearing sunglasses after dark. David, it turns out, is a ladies’ man.

“I saw my ex-girlfriend at the game. The reason I was wearing sunglasses was to disguise my face because I like the girls, I like the women. I think I am a ladies man and I’m very good-looking.”

I’m not sure what to make of any of this. On the one hand, I can’t help but think that if David is just dry-brushing with a toothbrush he’s been carrying around in the pocket of his jeans for the last three hours, he’s probably confusing the bacteria more than anything. On the other hand, he was pretty good looking. Maybe he knows what he’s doing.