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the wonder and terror of soccer.

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Accrington Stanley Goalkeeper the Latest To Be Trapped in the Gerrard Bar Brawl Vortex

Ian Dunbavin, the goalkeeper for League Two club Accrington Stanley, was arrested this morning in connection with the Steven Gerrard DJ assault. I thought another shoe would drop after Wayne Rooney’s brother-in-law was picked up by the police on Tuesday, and here it is. I don’t think we need any more evidence to conclude that the entire world of football, from the chromiest celebrities to the guys who barely even rate their own Wikipedia page, really, really can’t stand that DJ.

None of the papers are mentioning this for some reason, but Dunbavin was a youth player at Liverpool around the same time as Gerrard, which is presumably when they developed the sort of closeness that would later see them commit alleged attacks on semiprofessional music-industry hangers-on together. It’s kind of touching, really. Gerrard went on to become the international avatar of the club, Dunbavin drifted into bottom-league obscurity, but here they are, united by a similar court date.

The best part of the Telegraph writeup is that it devotes about 40% of its word count to making sure its readers understand exactly what Accrington Stanley is, a task it accomplishes mostly by reducing the entire history of the club to one mention in a well-known 1980s milk commercial:

Accrington Stanley Football Club, based in Lancashire, was promoted from the Nationwide Conference to League Two in April 2006.

It is perhaps best known for being name-checked in a celebrated British milk advert from the 1980s.

The scene was between two boys with thick Liverpudlian accents dressed in Liverpool football shirts who were looking for something to drink after a game of football.

They opt for milk on the advice of former Liverpool player Ian Rush, believing it will help them to play for a better team than Accrington Stanley.

Not exactly relevant to the legal issues at hand. It was a great milk commercial, though.

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Accrington Stanley Goalkeeper the Latest To Be Trapped in the Gerrard Bar Brawl Vortex

by Brian Phillips · January 16, 2009

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