I regret to announce that the Run of Play Holiday Poem has been canceled this year, due to complex travel arrangements and a complete lack of acceptable rhymes for “major kidney stone surgery“. If you find yourself enraged or despairing over this news, why not consider a tall glass of eggnog?

Eggnog…because nothing takes away the pain of not getting to read a satirical holiday-themed soccer poem that you were led to believe would be forthcoming quite like a frosty glass of eggnog.

We’ll be back in a few days with our usual slate of dedicated Ligue 1 coverage and wall-to-wall Victoria Beckham photospreads. Until then, have a happy holiday, and don’t put off your history paper until the last minute, this economy is terrible, and you’re barely getting by as it is.