I can live with no goals at White Hart Lane, but no arrests? It’s hard to take. Still, I mean, if you ‘d asked me before the match for one outcome that would have been an even more astonishing sign of Harry Redknapp’s power over this team than a win against Manchester United, I would have said, “Heurelho Gomes preserving a result with a last-second fingertip save.” Heurelho Gomes did that. Against Ryan Giggs, no less! It was like seeing Adriano order a club soda.
Otherwise, well, there was some nice passing. Mostly from Luka Modrić to himself. I enjoy watching him do the backward Slinky while attempting to chest the ball down to where his feet would be if the pitch had been transposed onto a drawing by M.C. Escher. It’s impressive, and it hurts to watch. He may be the smallest player whose thighs have ever been hit with the task of holding the space-time continuum together.
Aaron Lennon runs like a cockroach, but I mean that as a compliment. Has there ever been a more egregious case than Tevez-Woodgate of a one-sided collision that looked like a toss-up going in? I mean, if you see those guys from a distance, you’d think Woodgate could hold his own, maybe even that he’d have a slight advantage. In reality, there are doctors whose beepers are programmed to go off whenever Woodgate gets within 50 meters of Carlos Tevez. They keep a helicopter running just in case.
Read More: Manchester United, The Occasional Match Summary, Tottenham
by Brian Phillips · December 13, 2008
This post is fucking amazing. It simultaneously tells me next to nothing about the match itself and everything I need to know about the sport and players.
Get used to it buddy. We have.
Used to it? Do you have any idea what it takes to write like that?
Besides a six pack of good beer, a keyboard and some erudite whimsy, I mean.
I’m a regular over at FreeDarko, which is in the same vein – but for basketball.