The FA Is Advertising for a New Chief Executive; Tiny Comic Moustaches a Plus

Well, this is just fantastic. You, too, can apply to replace Brian Barwick as the chief executive of the Football Association. Or you could have, if you’d gotten your CV in by last Friday:

Anyone browsing the job sections in the broadsheet press in recent weeks may have noticed an advertisement for the post of chief executive of the Football Association. The current holder of the post Brian Barwick leaves officially at the end of the year although he has had plenty of time to improve his golf handicap since the summer when he was relieved of most of his responsibilities by FA chairman Lord Triesman. The deadline for applications was last Friday with the candidate sifting being done by a headhunting firm called Nolan Partners who offer “executive search and selection in sport”.

They don’t really want you for the job, however (and who can blame them?)

In a doubtlessly doomed bid to forestall a postbag packed with unsuitable CVs, the advert states that “it is unlikely that anyone without a track record of running a substantial business or organisation will have the necessary experience to take on this role”. No such caveats will put off the delusional applicant, not least when they only appear in the eighth of 12 paragraphs in among babble about “complex multi-stakeholder environments”.

Among the other assignments listed on their website, Nolan Partners was recently responsible for finding the new Chairman of the Greyhound Board of Great Britain. (Classy! Classy?) They also found a new Head of Catering for Manchester United, although honestly, Nolan Partners, I’m not sure that’s a find you want to boast about.