Nick and I have five matches picked out to watch this weekend, and as you know, with Nick, where there's a list, there's a playlist. For the record, I wrote a paragraph about Arsenal, but Nick nixed it. Apparently he's still upset about…something that happened last week? I don't know. We don't talk much.
TOP FIVE ALL-TIME GREATEST MATCHES TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND
Saturday
#5 Manchester United - Hull (15:00 GMT, 11am Eastern Time)
One team is a consensus title contender that crushed Arsenal and narrowly lost to an inspired Chelsea at midweek. The other team is Manchester United. Alex Ferguson is singing Hull's praises in the press, possibly in the same way that Democratic operatives briefly hyped Sarah Palin as a powerhouse debater. Of course Man Utd will win by three goals on the predictable brace from Ronaldo. But if you're not at least a little intrigued by this game, I'm…I'm really not sure why you're watching soccer.
Nick's pick: "You Can't Catch Me," by Chuck Berry
#4 Tottenham - Liverpool (17:30 GMT, 1:30pm ET)
History is vast and strange circumstances proliferate within it like conspicuous mouth-breathing on The Sopranos. Still, has there ever been a more intriguing first-place v. last-place matchup? Ever? If Tottenham win, look for them to announce plans to increase the size of their imaginary new stadium by 200,000 seats.
Nick's pick: "The Chicken and the Hawk," by Big Joe Turner
#3 Málaga - Barcelona (19:00 GMT, 3pm ET)
Málaga are currently in 6th place in La Liga and Barça looked beatable in their last match in the Copa del Rey. Will the Anchovies prove they belong on top? Will Messi be so distracted by the rumors of Maradona dropping him that he'll disappoint Ray Hudson's heart surgeon? ("Ray, there's…there's barely anything for me to do this week. That's…good. I'm…glad you're taking care of yourself." Crushes photograph of boat, kicks it under operating table.) I don't know, if this one gets boring I'll probably turn it off and save myself for the MLS playoffs.
Nick's pick: "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," by Tears For Fears
Sunday
#2 Udinese - Genoa (13:00 GMT, 9am ET)
Both clubs are outperforming expectations in Serie A. Udinese's little zebras are improbably top of the table. Quagliarella is playing like he deserves every single letter of his name. Will it last? No?
Nick's pick: "Love Minus Zero/No Limit," by Bob Dylan
#1 Milan - Napoli (18:30 GMT, 2:30 ET)
It's kind of a Serie A-heavy weekend, but there's no way I'm going to miss 1) Milan's first game since the Beckham loan was confirmed and 2) Napoli's first game since the Maradona appointment. If you can find an English-language broadcast, the drinking games alone could be lethal. Oh, it's also a match at the San Siro between two resurgent teams currently ranked second and third in the league. So you know. It's got that going for it, too.
Nick's pick: "Suddenly Everything Happens," by California Snow Story
I'm not sure if I'll have any new posts this weekend, but as you know, I always love to hear about the matches you're watching. Thoughts, impressions, angry reminders of games I left out, better song picks, and desperate love notes to people you once saw on the subway and suspect might read this blog are always welcome in the comments.
We really wanted to go to Milan-Napoli, but have been foiled by the draconian ticketing arrangements.
There are many things that I will do for my son, but "certifying" that we are both Milanisti isn't one of them.
Yeah, that's a little like registering for the wrong political party just so you can vote for their weakest primary candidate.
Should be interesting on TV, in any case.
Ronaldo just scored against Hull, three minutes into the game.
The kitten mewed once, pitifully, as her owner dropped her on the cold highway and heartlessly shut the car door.
HULL CITY EQUALIZE! Brilliant header from Daniel Cousin.
THE KITTEN JUST GOT CLAWS.
Michael Carrick just kind of lazily made it 2-1.
Manchester United are so good on the counterattack.
Traffic roared past the kitten on both sides as she huddled, trembling, in the middle of the interstate.
…and there's the Ronaldo brace I predicted. 3-1. The kitten is looking at me pleadingly, as if to say, "Please stop writing these frequent updates of the dismal last few moments of my life."
HULL ARE BACK IN IT. It's now 4-3 after a goal from Vidic, a lob from Mendy that was wheeled away in a straightjacket as soon as it crossed the line, and a penalty from Geovanni (won by Mendy) in the 81st minute.
Wayne Rooney is in the process of losing his mind.
PREDICTION: Alex Ferguson is going to go nuclear in the press conference after the match. Hull should have had nine red cards, etc.
UPDATE: And we finish 4-3. What a game. Hull certainly have nothing to feel ashamed about. In the meantime, Arsenal lost to Stoke City 2-1 at the Brittania, in a game that saw Walcott injured and Van Persie sent off. Serious times at the Emirates. I can't see a clear path to the title for them that doesn't include running the table against the rest of the big four.
Malaga v Barca wasn't a football game. What was that pitch about? Still, I'm never going to complain about 11 wins in a row.
Enjoying the new look site Brian, although I do miss the moody graphics which used to accompany your articles on the old site. Kay Ewe Tee Gee Double-U regardless.
It's halftime at the San Siro and the match has had plenty of bite so far. I only caught one Beckham mention on FSC, fewer than you usually get in a random Bolton-Fulham game.
Maggio picked up his second yellow card (deservedly, despite playing well) just before the half. Interesting to see if this will open up the Napoli defense for Kaka's running-like movements. I don't know; Santacroce's playing like two people already, maybe he'll just decide to play like three.
Is he injured? Scratch that.
Milan win it 1-0 to go top in Serie A. What a match. Napoli's defending with 10 men took me to a Scotland-like place, by which I do not mean that the place to which it took me was like Scotland. It was all a mad scramble in Iezzo's box from around the 65th minute on, one crazy save followed by another crazy miss, until Milan won a handball penalty…and Iezzo promptly saved Kaka's shot.
A couple of minutes later Ronaldinho sent in a good but stoppable free kick which Denis accidentally knocked into his own net. Game over…except that Denis came within one Abbiati fingernail of saving a point at the other end a minute later.
Lavezzi was superhuman tonight.
I don't know where Pato's mind is, but he missed an excruciatingly makeable header and at one point looked like he was marking Seedorf.
I have no faith in Christian Abbiati.
This match may have been the pick of a really good weekend of soccer.