From Portsmouth’s 2-1 win over Stoke City today: the marking was not what you’d call “tight” or…um…”marking”, but still, seeing Peter Crouch score from an overhead kick is like watching Niagara Falls run upward. Terrified 1950s honeymooners run screaming, trying to put as much distance as they can between themselves and the monstrosity. A desire they apparently have in common with the Stoke City defense.