WAGs or the Carling Cup: Which Is More Important to Football?

I’ve written a guest post for EPL Talk today arguing that semi-nude photos of midfielders’ girlfriends have now surpassed the Carling Cup as the third-most-important football institution in England.

To my surprise, I noticed in the corner of the screen a thumbnail image of a woman so astonishingly curvaceous it was if she’d been formed from the line left on the paper when Joey Barton tried to spell the word “curvaceous.” “Does she play centerback?” I asked myself, confused. Yes, as it happened, she did.

I hesitated. My mouse pointer quivered faintly, like a military barber being introduced to Robbie Savage. On the one hand, I had come to this website to read about the Carling Cup. On the other hand, her name was Amandalheinlandala, and her swimsuit was made out of a nickel. The anchor text said she was dating Johan Elmander. There was only one choice here.

Read the full post here. Next: a scientific rationale for replacing Shakespeare in school curricula with Frank Lampard’s Totally Frank.