Every team has played its first match, so it’s time to identify the most potent draught of goal-scoring elixir to date. (People actually talk that way, you know. It’s just verisimilitude from me.) Rather than staging a vote, I’m going to declare a winner from On High. But please, feel free to name your own choice in the comments. The nominees are. . .

David Villa v. Russia

Wesley Sneijder v. Italy

Zlatan Ibrahimovic v. Greece

And the winner is…Wesley Sneijder. Zlatan’s strike was sensational, but the team build-up, the fantastic header from Kuyt, and the tight-angle stab of the shot put Sneijder’s goal in a class by itself. In any case, if the next round of games produces three goals as good as these, I don’t think we’ll have anything to complain about.