The Run of Play Contest: How Unsurprised Can You Be by Kevin Keegan?
by Brian Phillips · January 18, 2008
The magic of Kevin Keegan, as Tom pointed out in a comment a couple of days ago, is that almost nothing he could do would surprise you. He could buy a pet tiger and you wouldn’t even finish the article. He could release a “Head Over Heels 2k8″ remix single featuring T-Pain and James Russell Mercer and you’d barely bat an eye. He could spend £12 million on Shaun Wright-Phillips and you’d just nod thoughtfully to yourself.
But this month’s Run of Play Contest is putting Kevin Keegan’s unpredictable charisma to the test.
The Task: Tell us the craziest thing Kevin Keegan could do without surprising you in the slightest. Go into as much or as little detail as you like.
The Time: The contest will be open through Monday evening. First-, second-, and third-place winners will be announced Tuesday morning, US Eastern time.
The Prize: The first-place winner will not only receive the respect of intelligent persons and a Spanish war chest full of plaudits (NOTE: plaudits may not be exchanged for goods and services) but will also be treated to a special serenade by Kevin Keegan himself. (NOTE: Serenade may be in mp3 form. The Run of Play is not responsible for challenges to the description of this award based on a rigid application of the dictionary definition of “special”.)
An example of what a winning entry might look like, if none of you were cleverer than I am: “Kevin Keegan could say after buying his new pet tiger: ‘Before I bought Gina here I used to keep goldfinches. They made a lovely pet, but they all kept flying away.’ And I would not be surprised.”
Submit entries in comments or by emailing email@example.com. Enter as many times as you’d like. Winners will be chosen on the basis of comedy, plausibility, incisive character development, and tactical naïveté.
Good luck. As the man himself might say, the tide is very much in your court.
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