The Run of Play is a blog about
the wonder and terror of soccer.

We left the window open during a match in October 2007 and a strange wind blew into the room.

Now we walk the forgotten byways of football with a lonely tread, searching for the beautiful, the bewildering, the haunting, and the absurd.

Contact Us

[contact-form 1 'Contact form 1']

The Run of Play Contest: Describe Peter Crouch

Peter Crouch jogs tall.After the reckless assault of one-liners that resulted in Tuesday’s Portrait of Peter Crouch, I thought it would be fun to get everyone in on the act, and to that end, I’m delighted to unveil the first-ever Run of Play Contest. Curious? Read on.

The Task: Describe Peter Crouch in one line. One line doesn’t mean one line in the text box below, and it doesn’t necessarily mean one sentence. What does it mean? You know in your heart what it means.

Peter Crouch's legs.jpgThe Time: The contest will be open through the weekend. First-, second-, and third-place winners will be announced Monday morning, US Eastern time.

A moonshine jug full of kudos.The Prize: The first-place winner will not only receive cloudbursts of glory and a moonshine jug full of kudos, but will also be invited to choose the player for next week’s Tuesday Portrait. If you’ve ever wanted to see Stuart Parnaby lavished with the trappings of English prose, this could be your last best chance.

An example of what a winning entry might look like, if none of you were cleverer than I am: “Sure, Peter Crouch costs more than regular dental floss. But he’s worth it.”

Submit your entries in comments or by sending an email to You can enter as many times as you like, under whatever names you like. Winners will be selected by oligarchic fiat. Cheating is recommended. I may cheat myself by submitting my own entries under false names in order to rig the competition for a portrait of Benny Feilhaber. It’s not like you can prove anything. Now get off my lawn.

Good luck.

Read More: , ,

The Run of Play Contest: Describe Peter Crouch

by Brian Phillips · December 6, 2007

[contact-form 5 'Email form']